Ever heard anything about this…about how to be a good ally to one cause or another? Ever seen a list of qualifications you have to pass in order to be considered a good ally? If you’re at all concerned about things like LGBT rights, racial rights, or women’s rights, then I’m positive you’ve come across this concept.
So, what does it mean?
Basically, if you’re an ally, it means that even though you’re a cis white male, you can be deemed safe and approachable by members of that community. Some authority in the community has declared you to be their friend and that you are 100% behind anything and everything they stand for, even if some of their beliefs would ultimately lead to your own downfall, humiliation, and eventual oppression if allowed to go too far.
Pretty masochistic if you ask me.
I once recorded a sound bite for a podcast, stating that I was an ally of a community. I never submitted it because while I understood that they’d been shit on for years, I didn’t necessarily agree with all they stood for, and their chosen courses of action. In this all-or-nothing age of political bend, even 99% in agreement isn’t enough. It has to be 100% acceptance of their ideals, or you’re considered every ‘-ist’ and ‘-phobe’ in the book. Oh, and let’s not forget you’re also now a Nazi. Thanks guys…really appreciate that last one.
But on the other side of it too, I’m not fully aligned with the so-called shitlords out there. I don’t fully agree that all speech must be allowed and open for ridicule because we as a species are not mentally equipped to do so. If we were, ideas like fascism, religion, and other such drivel wouldn’t even exist. Sure, a few highbrow YouTubers who give themselves way too much credit might think the world is in-step with their apparent evolved way of looking at things, but it’s a delusion. We’re tribal, emotional, and prone to knee-jerk reaction to things that don’t fit our individual or group’s ideals. Sorry…that’s just the way it is.
So, as far as I’m concerned both sides are flawed. Both sides have some good points and lots of bad points. Both sides have made claims that have been debunked, while others have been confirmed. There’s merit at looking at both sides of the fence and coming to a conclusion that is mutually beneficial. But no one really sees that, do they?
So no…I won’t be applying for ally-ship in any one camp. Why? Because your camp is too damned rigid in its beliefs that, even in the face of evidence that contradicts your claims, you double and triple down, screaming your narrative louder as if that’s going to lend it credibility. You want to argue a point, then argue with facts. Counter with facts. Don’t hand me this emotion-filled drivel about oppression unless you can come up with some factual evidence that actually supports your claim. If it checks out, then congratulations, I will have changed my mind, because that’s what rational people do.
But while I may not be an ally, I’m willing to be a friend. I have good friends who are gay, lesbian, and even a couple of trans friends. And you know what? They accept me for who I am just as I do for them. Who they are and how they live doesn’t bother me at all because they’re my friends. My trans friend stepped away from the whole community thing because she thought it was too toxic. I salute her for that. She completed her journey and I was lucky enough to be there for a good part of it as she transitioned. My gay friends, again, are great people I’ve gotten to know, and when I talk to them I’m not thinking of the community as a whole. I’m thinking of them.
Don’t assume just because I have friends in some of these communities that I’m all-in as an ally. I only interact with your community through my friends, and nothing more. If that makes me a Nazi, homophobe, or transphobe in your eyes, then I say, as kindly as I can…
Fuck you.