I Just want to watch a movie…

I like movies.

For 2-3 hours out of my life, I actually like to sit in a room in a comfy seat, munching popcorn or nachos, and watching something on a screen I’d kill to have in my home. Alone or with a friend/date, I love watching movies. I get to switch my brain off and just enjoy the escapism.

Now, there are a couple of caveats to this. First, I have to be interested in seeing the movie. I’m not dropping $50 on a flick that’s a waste of my time. Second, it has to be good. Not necessarily artistically beautiful, but fun. It could be a comedy, action, fantasy, sci-fi…anything so long as it pulls me in, shows me a good time, and lets me go feeling that it was a good use of my time. Do that, and I’m happy.

Now, if I choose to not go see a movie, chances are it just doesn’t interest me. Even if the genre is right up my alley, that doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m ready to commit time and money to see it. I don’t watch a lot of TV these days, so adverts for movies usually show up for me on social media or if I run across a trailer on YouTube. If it tickles my interest, I’ll go see it. Otherwise, meh.

I never saw the Rise of Skywalker in theaters. I would have liked to, but circumstances kinda prevented me. Despite fans yelling and screaming about how it killed Star Wars, or how LucasFilm and Disney are de-personing the original cast, I still found it fun. Sure, there are aspects of it I didn’t care for, but it was still an interesting watch.

The original Star Wars movie came out more than 40 years ago. We’ve had 2 or 3 generations of kids who grew up knowing the lore, knowing the movies, and falling in love with the cast. By the time someone tried to make a new Star Wars movie, well, time caught up to the original actors. Harrison, Mark, and Carrie all had aged. If new adventures were to happen in the Galaxy Far Far away, new blood was required. Rogue One did a good job of this, creating a cast of characters separate from the originals, but close enough that it felt like a Star Wars movie. Solo did the same, though the story was a little wishy-washy. Still, E for effort guys.

Thing is, with the sequel trilogy, we didn’t have those 40+ years. The love of Rey, Fin, Po, and the others wasn’t there. How could it be? The movies came out BANG BANG BANG before we could even let the story sink in. Disney, in my opinion, tried rushing them out to us hoping that the memories of the original Star Wars trilogy would spur us on to watch them. It didn’t work because people were still trying to wrap their heads around what happened. Decades of books…a pulp-based storyline from which any story could have been taken…wiped away with one movie. If you’re going to make a call that drastic, then you’d better hit with an impact equivalent to a nuclear strike.

Abrams tried, but it didn’t work out that well.

The Force Awakens wasn’t a bad movie, but it was a frame-by-frame retelling of the first movie. Ok, fine, I can see that. Into your hands has been placed a franchise so beloved by people that anything you do with it will be scrutinized more than any political analysis done by CNN. Playing it safe to test the waters is a good idea, because then you can gauge how to move forward.

The Last Jedi…well…again, E for effort. I know there was a lot of identity politics at play when it was being made, and the end product was a testament to how a Star Wars movie is made by someone who knows nothing about the universe. It had a couple of good points to it, decent special effects, but not a lot of story substance. However, Rian Johnson, in my opinion, missed the mark.

And instead of reflecting on this, what does he do? He blames the fans.

OK, look, Rian. Into your hands was placed the most valuable science fiction commodity in human existence. A legacy over 40 years old was entrusted to you to continue on, and instead of a compelling story, you worked overtime to eliminate some of the icons of that franchise. Why was it so important to have a purple-haired woman ram that cruiser into the First Order’s ship? If Admiral Ackbar was on that cruiser, it should have gone to him. Was ‘diversity’ that important that you had to minimize the presence of so many original icons? YOU made the bad calls. YOU chose to go this route and the fans didn’t like it. We told you via out wallets what we thought of it, yet you blame the fans.

Sure, we are responsible, because we didn’t want to spend money on a bad film. You want the big payoff? GIT GUD SCRUB!

I think the entire sequel trilogy could have been better as a series on Netflix or Disney+. It would have given us the chance to watch the characters grow into their roles a bit better, and would have given us the arcs they really needed to reach that beloved status. That way, things could be more fleshed out, and by the time the big finale hit, we’d be on the edge of our seats ready to cheer on our new heroes as they finally put ol’ Palpy down once and for all.

Alas, we got a rushed attempt at a quick cash grab, and a whiny-assed director who thinks his shit doesn’t stink and nothing’s his fault. Instead he blames the fans and thinks we’re all a bunch of ista-phobes because he botched Star Wars so badly that even JJ Abrams couldn’t fully salvage it.

Stop blaming fans for your mistakes. If you fuck up, own it. we’ll respect you more if you do that. If millions are on the line, be careful what you sign up for.

The Force is not with you, Rian…it never was.