Near the end of April I rejoined the working part of the population. It’s a work-from-home position with a rather large security hardware/software company, that has some major clients in its portfolio. Not to put to fine a point on it, but to say that I’m heading up some of those big names would not be a false claim. OK, so my banter language is still rusty, whatever.
I’m thankful for the job, largely because by the end of the day I’m so exhausted that I could not give one tenth of one percent of a shit about pop culture, politics, religion, and I’m only barely aware of current events. From 8 to 5 every day, I’m seated at my desk nook with a laptop and 2 monitors, managing the flow of projects from award to closure. I haven’t been there for 90 days yet, and I’m already in charge of 30 projects, have closed 3 in record time, and have earned a bit of respect from my peers. The pay’s not bad, and it’s helping to claw my way out of the hole I dug myself during 2020.
Now, one might think that now that I’m working again, things are back to normal for me. I should be back on FA, HCTV, engaging in all kinds of discussions on social media, and overall just getting back to being the pre-2020 me. Now that the cash is flowing and my life is slowly getting back to some semblance of OK, I should be getting back into the fight, right?
Wrong.
See, one thing I learned about myself over the past year and some is that I have no patience for bullshit or for hate. Even though things are starting to calm down and vaccinations are helping to get COVID under control, the legacy of 2020 still burns. Apparently, because I’m white I’m automatically racist. Because I’m male I’m automatically sexist, and because I’m straight, I’m automatically homophobic. Because my pronouns aren’t in my social media titles, I’m transphobic. If I deny any of this, then I’m guilty. So, damned if you do, damned if you don’t. Judgement has already passed and even if you submit, you will never truly be free.
Kay…
I’m back on FurAffinity, but with a new account. Not much has changed, except most of the art posts are little more than advertisements for ‘Your Character Here’ or commission posters. Hey, mad respect to those trying to make a buck or two, but the problem with some YCH sketches is I don’t see what you’re capable of, and really couldn’t be arsed to check your page out. I guess it’ll be word of mouth as to who I choose to follow now. And, of course, if I see pronouns or some kind of social justice bend to your work, hard pass. Hate does not deserve attention…it deserves silence.
I’m not really sure if/when I’ll be back to pre-2020 normal, or even if I want to be. In the past few months, I’ve seen the world change and not for the better…at least if you go by social media’s barometer on public opinion. Every day it’s hate posts, shit posts, hot takes, bad takes, and a general sense of bad behavior for which my generation used to get the wooden spoon. While it’s difficult to paddle fannies from hundreds of miles away, well, refer to my previous post about the ultimate cancellation scheme. I’m sure it will happen someday. One can hope.
As for me, I’ll continue to fly mostly under the radar, minding my own business and doing my own thing. If words are violence and silence is violence, I’ll stick with the latter since it requires less effort. Does that make me lazy? Not really; I’d just sooner focus my energies on things more productive than constantly having to explain to someone why their claims of whatever are not only baseless, but wrong. You fight for so long and nothing ever comes of it so why bother?
I shouldn’t say that. The atheist movement fought, and ultimately turned into the very thing against which they railed for so long: a religion. Granted, it’s devoid of a god, but it’s still a dogmatic ideology predicated on original sin, rights of absolution, but they never really stuck the landing on that whole forgiveness part. To be deemed a heretic in the court of intersectionality is to be permanently marked. Just glad none of these idiots know how to sew crimson letters. Too busy watching TikTok to really learn.
I’m happy to be part of the active workforce once more, and for the break it’s given me from the hate-fest that I’ve witnessed over the past year and some. How things will play out from now on is anybody’s guess, but for now I’m just content to watch from the shadows and take my notes.
Maybe someday I’ll speak out again…we’ll see…